Okay, so we know it seems like it's been A WHILE since we've posted, and that's because it has...
There is a reason why we haven't posted, and it's partly because there hasn't been much new to post about, partly because of superstition, and partly because we've been dealing with a myriad of emotions ranging from excitement, to nervousness but ultimately ending in heartbroken happiness. The last time we posted we had just finished our home study, and until recently we had not moved any further with our agency, so there was nothing new to report on. More on that later.... Superstition. We had this weird feeling that if we were to share what was going on, things wouldn't work out. We had a weird feeling anyway that things were too good to be true. Wondering what we're talking about? Well...here's the bad news. We might as well start with that, so then we can end with the good news and on a happy note. We had a failed adoption. In early March, a sweet expectant mother reached out to us. She was 6 months pregnant and she was POSITIVE she did not want to be a mom. She found us through a mutual friend on social media, and she asked us if we would be interested in possibly getting to know her and maybe adopting her child. We were of course skeptical at first. There are a lot of scams out there, people asking for money with the promise of a baby and then come to find out that they were never pregnant to begin with. But, as we went on talking, we realized that this was not the case with this mother. She never asked us for a penny. We eventually decided to meet over Zoom, and we ended up talking with each other for over an hour. We all got along really well and we felt super connected. Still...we were cautious. Fast forward a few weeks, and she sent us a message letting us know that she wanted to move forward with the adoption. We got her in touch with our lawyer and a social worker. The biological father signed over his rights. In the expectant mother's home state, she was not allowed to sign over her rights until 48 hours after the baby was born, by law. So, we had to wait for that. A few more weeks went by, and we still had good communication. She would keep us updated about her doctor's appointments, we felt good. But then, things started to change. Communication became less and less frequent. Conversations were shorter. She didn't reach out to us anymore. We knew, but we didn't want to believe it. Maybe she was just busy. Maybe she was just having second thoughts and needed some time to think. Maybe... But, then we got the call from the social worker. She told us she didn't have great news. We already knew that though. The expectant mother had changed her mind. She had been to the doctor, and she saw her little baby on that 3D ultrasound and everything became too real. She knew she couldn't go through with it. We knew. We were heartbroken. We had spent months preparing our hearts to love a baby that we would never meet. It was such a crushing feeling. We felt sad, but never mad. We felt upset, but never bitter. It was weird because part of us was heartbroken, but another part of us felt guilty for mourning the loss of a child that was never ours to begin with. How could she change her mind so quickly? How could she go from 100% positive to undecided to "never mind." But then again, how could we expect her not to change her mind? It was a hard few weeks for us after that, and that is why you all haven't heard much. Ho But today, today we got some good news. That expectant mother had a beautiful baby boy. She sent us a picture, and he is healthy and perfect with the cutest little chubby cheeks you could imagine. And guess what? She is SO HAPPY to be his mommy. She loves him so much. So, as heartbroken as we were, and still are, we know that that little baby is right where he needs to be. And our baby is still out there. There's another little one who will need us more, and when that time comes, we will be here, with open hearts and a deeper understanding of the love that goes into adoption from both sides. Soo, now we can move onto the good news. The good news is, we have finally been able to move forward with our agency. We picked up the pieces of our broken hearts, put them back together and dove into the next steps toward working with our agency. We scheduled our final consultation with our adoption worker and we completed our online profile as well as our hard copy profile books. Our books will arrive tomorrow and our online profile will "go live" next week! How exciting!! All we will have to do then is just wait for another expectant mother to choose us to be the mommies to her baby. A baby who needs us more. A baby who is meant to be the next piece to our puzzle. So, that is exactly what we will do. We will wait. And we will wait with an even greater appreciation for the sacrifice that the expectant mother will be making when she chooses us as the family for her child. Again, we want to thank everyone for your continued love and support. We are extremely humbled by all of the fundraising that we have been able to do this time around, it has been more helpful than you could imagine, and it has allowed us to get as far as we have in our adoption journey. We hope to continue to share our story with you all as we grow our family! ONE MORE FINAL ANNOUNCEMENT: We greatly overestimated our ability to put together a 500 piece puzzle while working full time, Anna being in school, and having a toddler. So, thankfully Sarah's grandma has offered to help us put the puzzle together! We will be having a puzzle reveal soon, but in the meantime, we did pick a winner for the raffle of the puzzle pieces. Congratulations to Ann from HP4!! You are the winner of the $50 Visa gift card. Please, if anyone has any questions at all about the process, please feel free to comment with a question. We want to answer anything and everything!
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Welcome back! We know it's been a while since our last update, but honestly, that is because there has been NOTHING to update you all on. Until now! A few weeks ago we received our giant home study packet and adoption manual in the mail. What's in the home study packet you ask? Good question. Here is a quick overview:
1: a list of all of the documentation we need to send in. This includes: home study fee, birth certificates, ID, marriage certificate, income tax returns, paystubs, auto insurance cards, pet inoculations, proof of health insurance, proof of life insurance, health inspections of water source, budget form, FOID cards, background clearances, agency fee schedule signed, medical reports, TB tests reports, certificate of child health examination (for current children). 2: List of adoption trainings to be completed (13 trainings total) 3: List of minimum requirements of Adoptive Homes (Did you know: we need a written and displayed fire safety plan?!) Do you have one? 4: Question prompts for a 6-page paper we each need to write 5: Floor plan of our home 6: Fire alarm and carbon monoxide detector inspections 7: A copy of our childcare plan 8: Prohibition of Corporal Punishment agreement (legally cannot spank adopted kids...not that we would, but interesting fact). 9: Water temperature agreement-our water heaters cannot be set above a certain degree 10: History of arrests (LOL no worries there) 11: Birth parent rights and responsibilities 12: Adoptive parents rights and responsibilities 13: Firearms agreement 14: Safety plan for pools, hot tubs and other sources of water 15: Quick facts sheet (demographical info about ourselves) 16: Consent to release information Sooo....all of that to say, it is A LOT. We also need to complete 4 meetings with our adoption social worker for the home study, and each meeting is 3 hours long. So here's the exciting news! Although we have A LOT of paperwork to get through, we had our first meeting today! This means that in about 6-8 weeks, after completing the rest of the meetings we will be ready for our profile to go live! 6-8 weeks still seems like a little bit of time away, but it is closer than the unknown which is where we were at before. We are so happy that we can finally feel like we are moving in the right direction rather than at a standstill. Adoption can feel like that sometimes. Well, a lot of times. It's just a lot of waiting, but we have a lot of optimism that we are finally moving in the right direction! We can't wait to continue to share this journey with you all, and we thank you all for coming along on this adventure with us! So, what's next?
Thank you all for your continued love and support! Happy New Year! It's been a while since our last post. Too long. The goal of the adoption journey this time around was to keep everyone informed, every step of the way. Last time, we were pretty quiet about the adoption-it felt like a jinx. We rarely talked about it because somehow it felt like if the world knew how bad we wanted it, it would never happen. Now we know that the absolute perfect child for our family will come at the absolute perfect time, but it is still hard. The process is so slow, and it feels like we have to jump through a thousand hoops just to move an inch forward. We are moving forward though! Here's what we've been up to: After we chose our adoption agency, we had to submit an application and have our application be accepted. Once it was accepted, we received a GIANT list of items to complete in different stages. The first stage included: 1. Health physicals for all members of the family. This means that we all had to go to our doctors (not an easy thing to make happen in the middle of a pandemic) for a physical. We also had to have blood drawn and TB tests in order to prove we have no communicable diseases. Did you have to do that before you could have your child? 2. Background checks- we had to submit payment and authorization for background checks for all members 18+ in our immediate family. 3. Fingerprinting- we had to go get fingerprinted to prove we're not criminals. 4. Budget form- we had to complete an in-depth budget form explaining all of our finances, assets and debts. We also had to provide proof of income and tax returns. 5. Pay a $2700 home study fee. We completed all of the steps in stage 1 and sent in all of the paperwork just before the holidays, so we are anxiously awaiting what's next. We are no where near done with all of the paperwork, appointments, payments, trainings, meetings, etc. In fact, we have only begun, and these are the easiest parts of the adoption process. It may not seem like a lot, but all of these things take so much time and effort, it is exhausting. Add a toddler and full time jobs to the mix, and it becomes even more exhausting. We know in the end it will all be worth it, but I think we forgot just how much work it takes to go through an adoption. However, that is exactly the reason why we want to share our journey with all of you! We know that many of you are just as invested in this as we are, and we can not thank you all for your support. What's next? Next we will be assigned an adoption social worker who will guide us through the next round of paperwork and the home study. This process will likely take a few months due to COVID and the many meetings it entails, but our goal is to have it complete by early spring! Here's what we need from you! 1. Continued support. It is fun for us when you ask us about the adoption-so don't hesitate! 2. Fundraising ideas! Do you have any fun/unique fundraising ideas? Do you know anyone who is really good at fundraising or who has had successful fundraisers in the past? We would love to collaborate! 3. Spread the word. If you, or anyone you know, knows of someone who is thinking about placing their child for adoption, please pass along our information. It is never too early for a match! 4. What do you want to know/see? Let us know what content you like to see/read about! 5. Check out our social medias! We post more often on social medias regarding our everyday life and our adoption journey, so check it out! "Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living. Heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful." - LR Knost We are currently in the ordinary and routine-but thankful to not be in the awful and patiently awaiting our next amazing. We hope you all have a very happy and healthy new year! flow.page/ohwowmomentsmamas . Hello! Welcome back, and thank you for reading. Where are the questions?? We did not receive a single question on our last blog, really, ask anything!
What you've missed: All we can say is WOW. Our family, our friends and our community really showed up. As some of you may know, we decided to hold our first fundraiser at the end of September. We held an adoption fundraiser garage sale, and let me tell you, it was a huge success. So many of our family members, friends and our community donated items to be sold or came to shop at the sale. We were blown away!! We raised over $2,000 alone in one weekend. We plan to hold another garage sale fundraiser in the spring, so keep us in mind when you are doing your spring cleaning! Next, we launched a fundraiser that we were really excited about, the Bonfire shirt campaign. YOU GUYS! We sold 3x our goal, selling more than 150 items for this fundraiser and raising over $1,200 along the way. We can not thank you all enough for buying, donating and sharing our efforts. HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART! Shirts have shipped! Some of you have already received yours. If you do not mind your photo being shared on social media, please send us a picture of yourself wearing your shirts. You can text or send us a picture over Facebook messenger if you do not have one of our numbers. So, we've raised over $4,000 so far with the help of the yard sale, the shirt campaign, cash donations via Venmo, and get this-we participated in a PAID sponsorship on social medias for a water bottle company called The Coldest Water, which raised over $150 for our cause. We have also been saving money from selling items on marketplace! Now, what's next? What are we going to do with all of this money. Well...here is what you have helped raise so far will pay for! We are going to submit our application to the adoption agency: $425 Then we will need to complete an Initial Consultation: $375 After that, we will begin the home study process: $2,700 These three steps will equal $3,500. We will have about $500 left to put toward the next phase. Here is what we have left to pay for after the above steps: AKA the big expenses Program Fee: $6,300 Match Fee: $5,500 + birth mother expenses (hospital, legal, etc) Placement Fee: $13,500 Post Placement Visits: $1,200 So, this means that although we have raised a large amount already, we still have over $26,000 left to go. Does anyone have any fundraising ideas? Let us know! HOWEVER! Here is how you can help at no cost to you. If we are able to connect with a birth mother on our own, the adoption fees will be cut in half! This would turn the adoption into an agency-assisted adoption, which means that we will not have to pay for the Program fee and the Placement Fee will be cut to nearly 1/3. The total cost of our adoption will go from over $30,000 to just about $15,000. How can you help? Share, share share! Share our story and our blog posts. Talk with everyone you know. Ask if anyone knows of anyone who may know someone who is thinking about placing their child for adoption. Use word of mouth and help us find our next missing piece! Honestly, just tell anyone and everyone. Post on your social medias, and then ask your friends to share the post. You just never know who might see it! We have no preferences on sex or race! In the meantime, we just want to continue to express our gratitude for everyone who has helped us in some way, shape or form so far. You all are amazing. Also-ask us your questions! We know there is something you want to know about this adoption process! We will keep you updated on the next steps as we complete them over the next few weeks and months! Welcome! Many of you are probably asking, "What's with the "oh wow" in everything?" Well, great question! The idea of an "Oh Wow Moment" started many years ago when Anna and I first met. This isn't a term that we invented, but it is a term that we have kind of turned into our life motto. An "Oh Wow Moment" is simply a moment in time when you stop and think to yourself, "Oh Wow..." It could be anything. Your Oh Wow moment could be something really big, or it could be something very simple and small. It could be discovering a new favorite flavor of ice cream, "Oh wow, I LOVE this mint mocha chip!" It could be your graduation, "Oh wow, I did it!" It could be your first trip to the beach, "Oh wow, the ocean is so pretty!" It could be the moment you lay your eyes on your child for the first time, "Oh wow, they're perfect!" It could be the moment you get the call that you were chosen to be a child's parents, "Oh wow, it's actually happening." Everyone has different Oh Wow moments, and that is what makes the idea of an Oh Wow so universal. One thing we try to do as a family is to stop and notice even the smallest of Oh Wow moments. For example, today we went for a hike, and Levi was splashing through the puddles with his little rain boots on. I remember thinking, "Oh wow, he will never be this little again. I just love watching the wonder and joy in his eyes." Sometimes I watch as Levi races his toy cars all around my hardwood floors and think, "Oh Wow, I remember the days when I would DREAM of this day." The more you practice noticing Oh Wow moments, the more obvious they will become! One huge Oh Wow that has become of this idea is how much we have been able to grow this platform over the past several years. What started as a simple idea for an Instagram handle turned into a platform where we have been able to help educate the public on a variety of topics, spread kindness and acceptance, and share our journey to becoming a family. Oh Wow, we have been featured in major platforms including Love What Matters, Same Sex Parents and Fertility IQ. We have grown our social media accounts to over 70, 000 followers, and we have been able to hear the stories of many families like ours, or those who hope to one day have a family like ours. Oh Wow...we might actually be making a fraction of a difference in the world. So, this blog is going to serve as a platform to take you along on our journey to our next big Oh Wow. We are on our way to our second adoption, and we can't wait to share the ride with you. We will *attempt* to post weekly. Whether we have an update, answer a question from one of you, or just share some things that are going on in our lives, we hope that you will follow along with us. If you would like to checkout our social medias for day to day updates or some of our smaller Oh Wow moments, you can find our Instagram and Tiktok by clicking on the link below! flow.page/ohwowmomentsmamas Also-PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ask us your questions in the comments. Do not be shy!! (Almost) nothing is off limits! We are looking forward to your questions! -S |
AuthorsHello! We are Sarah and Anna, and we are inviting you to come along on our journey to adoption! Archives |